Build Date: Thu Jan 22 14:20:08 2026 UTC
I always use the Ed Asner test for my personal beliefs. That is, if I accidentally agree with Ed Asner, I go back and check my math.
-- S. Dallas, Esq.
Word Processing on Corrugated Cardboard?
2000-06-14 21:59:33
Neatness is for anal-retentive assholes. This is Pigdog!
But how can I recreate my crazed scrawls with a word processing program? This web page has the answer...
If you're like me, most of your writing is done on scraps of paper from your pocket -- except ransom notes, which are pasted together with letters clipped from magazines. Your messy, barely visible letters may deface soggy receipts or the back of old telephone bills -- but never the pristine sheets of 8 1/2 x 11 inch printer paper that are favored by corporate lackeys.
Some U.K. designers have recognized the vitality of these real-life writing media, and they've re-created it in an experimental web-based word processing interface. First you select the surface to use. (Graph paper with foot prints? A bit of a cardboard box?) Then move on to the type of handwriting. (Tidy? Barely legible?)
They've also reproduced most of the active icons from standard Office software. There's "Cut". ("First print the document out. Then get your knife/scissors...") And "delete". (The interface scribbles a black line across what you've typed.) But keeping audiences of Pigdog readers in mind, this software even includes a "Drink" icon. And I was also impressed by the Pigdog-like way the web interface sends documents to your printer. "Print-out will be messy," it warns. Do you mind?"
"Tough," says the next pop-up window.
Those wacky Brits have even reproduced the annoying pop-up tips that come with most Office software suites. Except that these are hand-written -- and even more worthless than usual.. ("Did you know....your finger nails are growing all the time?") Have countless minutes of fun exploring a software that's just as arbitrary and cantankerous as the real thing -- but much more entertaining! (A helpful hint: Z's are replaced by G's...)
Goom on over there and see what you're missing!

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)