Ministry of Truth! Just like in that TV show with the cats.

     
 

Word Processing on Corrugated Cardboard?
2000-06-14 21:59:33


Net Flotsam
 
"Squeal like a pig." Just saying the line conjures up images of Hillbillies and Ned Beatty's sweaty pink face. It's a powerful image, jammed into the American psyche like a fat Hillbilly cock in a tiny city-dweller's anus. The image will just not go away, no matter how hard you try.
-- enigma

 

Neatness is for anal-retentive assholes. This is Pigdog!

But how can I recreate my crazed scrawls with a word processing program? This web page has the answer...

If you're like me, most of your writing is done on scraps of paper from your pocket -- except ransom notes, which are pasted together with letters clipped from magazines. Your messy, barely visible letters may deface soggy receipts or the back of old telephone bills -- but never the pristine sheets of 8 1/2 x 11 inch printer paper that are favored by corporate lackeys.

Some U.K. designers have recognized the vitality of these real-life writing media, and they've re-created it in an experimental web-based word processing interface. First you select the surface to use. (Graph paper with foot prints? A bit of a cardboard box?) Then move on to the type of handwriting. (Tidy? Barely legible?)

They've also reproduced most of the active icons from standard Office software. There's "Cut". ("First print the document out. Then get your knife/scissors...") And "delete". (The interface scribbles a black line across what you've typed.) But keeping audiences of Pigdog readers in mind, this software even includes a "Drink" icon. And I was also impressed by the Pigdog-like way the web interface sends documents to your printer. "Print-out will be messy," it warns. Do you mind?"

"Tough," says the next pop-up window.

Those wacky Brits have even reproduced the annoying pop-up tips that come with most Office software suites. Except that these are hand-written -- and even more worthless than usual.. ("Did you know....your finger nails are growing all the time?") Have countless minutes of fun exploring a software that's just as arbitrary and cantankerous as the real thing -- but much more entertaining! (A helpful hint: Z's are replaced by G's...)

Goom on over there and see what you're missing!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

dunsmuir@pigdog.org


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