Build Date: Sun Aug 31 12:40:15 2025 UTC
My mommy was busy selling pez to gutterpunks on University Way trying to convince them it was crack.
-- Gank
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
Out | In |
---|---|
Boethius | Foucault |
Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
American Spirits | Natural Blend |
dot-coms | shit disturbers |
juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
Draconians | Yeeks |
cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
The Web | Freenet |
biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
MDMA | MDA |
slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
Ibiza | quilting |
Drum and bass | swing dancing |
Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
keffiya | razor wire |
Raquel Darrian | Devon |
having babies | cloning |
Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
"Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
data havens | monoliths |
hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
benzine | the right-hand rule |
XML | Esperanto |
JSP | LAML |
sarcasm | harm reduction |
corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
.biz | AnarchyNIC |
Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
The 70s | betel nut |
"Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
home fries | fruit cup |
Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
new restaurants | Original Joe's |
sorghum | quinoa |
scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
peer-to-peer | underground |
Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)