Build Date: Sat Apr 20 02:50:10 2024 UTC
I am not Spock.
-- Leonard Nimoy
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
| Out | In |
|---|---|
| Boethius | Foucault |
| Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
| Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
| MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
| Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
| Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
| Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
| R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
| American Spirits | Natural Blend |
| dot-coms | shit disturbers |
| juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
| Draconians | Yeeks |
| cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
| distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
| The Web | Freenet |
| biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
| Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
| MDMA | MDA |
| slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
| Ibiza | quilting |
| Drum and bass | swing dancing |
| Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
| keffiya | razor wire |
| Raquel Darrian | Devon |
| having babies | cloning |
| Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
| "Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
| data havens | monoliths |
| hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
| benzine | the right-hand rule |
| XML | Esperanto |
| JSP | LAML |
| sarcasm | harm reduction |
| corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
| .biz | AnarchyNIC |
| Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
| The 70s | betel nut |
| "Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
| home fries | fruit cup |
| Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
| new restaurants | Original Joe's |
| sorghum | quinoa |
| scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
| weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
| peer-to-peer | underground |
| Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
