Build Date: Sat Apr 20 14:30:09 2024 UTC
Real happiness, in politics, is a wide-open hammer shot on some poor bastard who knows he's been trapped, but can't flee.
-- HST
Last-minute Halloween Costume Ideas: MILLENNIUM EDITION
2000-10-19 21:56:29
Check it out! More crazy Halloween costume ideas for you crazy freaks! Bwahaha! Yippee! Eat THESE keywords, search engine robot spider FUCKS!
So, last year I did a whole bunch of coolio last-minute Halloween costume ideas. And then this year, we were checking the logs here at the PIGDOG MEDIA VENTURES (TM) CENTRAL DATUR WAREHOUSE CENTRE in the enterprise zone of Sparks, NV, and we found out that for some goddamned reason you, our weird readership, were going back to read that article over and over again. Like a HUGE SPIKE in readership.
I'm pretty sure it's due to some weird statistical search engine error, but I'd like to think it's my great lists that keep you coming back for more. Like Cheezits!
Anyways, since I'm never averse to some hitmongering, I'm going to try and RE-CAPTURE the MAGIC by making a whole new set of last-minute Halloween costume ideas. Secret contest: look for the OFFHAND INTERNET CULTURAL REFERENCES. Collect 'em all!
- Eric Raymond's gun collection
- The Need To Know Web-based archives
- WAP
- The great taste of Nutter Butter cookies
- Mary from "Party Girl"
- BT
- The album "Zenyatta Mondatta"
- Leasing vs. buying
- a ballerina
- Mars Blackmon
- A hand-cranked porno movie machine from the 1900s
- Ralph Nader being dragged from the presidential debates
- Rubber bullet
- Sheldon the Sea Genie
- Bituminous coal
- 1/2 Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle, 1/2 Jim Nabors as Vegas lounge act
- Deep Throat (the movie)
- Richard Stallman's crufty notebook computer
- Moesha
- Bill Bixby, in the part where he's between being David Banner and the Hulk. Like, not one or the other, but in between. With the crazy eye thing.
- sed and/or awk
- Bill Bixby in "The Magician"
- The Bernoulli principle
- The Secret Bombings of Cambodia
- Jeff Spicoli
- A cease-and-desist letter
- A loving tribute to CD-ROM-based multimedia and the amazingly creative people who pioneered the craft
- The kind of tired Canadia-baiting thing
- Buckminster Fuller
- Pork rinds
- a guy at a toga party
- a click-through license
- A "Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty" bumper sticker
- Drew Wilde
- A participant in a poetry "slam"
- A big cow
- Bill Bixby in "Kentucky Fried Movie"
- The Love Parade
- Paul Reubens
- Analkin Skywalker
- The Superfriends, but only saying "WUUZZZUPPP!!" Like, you can't say anything else. Just "WUZZZUPPPP!!"
- Hey, fuck, man, BILL BIXBY!
- Fucked-up patent mongers Thomson Multimedia Corp
- The Jargon File
- A devil
- Sweet Honey in the Rock
- The ignominious death of the swing dancing craze
- GNU HURD
- Harcourt P. Mudd
- A Sagittarius
- The Porn Lord who financed "Getting It"
- Nordic Trak (the dance)
- Ed Anger
- Nordic Trak (the machine)
- Master Samwise
- Elian Gonzalez in an innertube and his protective phalanx of Virgin-Mary-inspired dolphins
- Proposition L
- WTO
- A "dorse"
- the extreme tediousness of Enterprise Java Beans
- Mikim Corporation
- Candy Angel
- a self-published vanity novel
- Campbell Scott
- Deep Throat (the informer)
- Beetle Bailey, but like asleep in a bed with ZZZZs coming out of his head
- The Star Twins
- Monica Lewinsky with, like, kneepads, but, hold on a sec, the kneepads have the PRESIDENTIAL SEAL on 'em. GETTIT?!? GETTIT?!? Bonus if you smoke a cigar.
- Manuel Noriega in drag
- DeCSS
- TJ Hooker
- Sheila E
- Paul Oakenfold in Ibiza
- Fearless Fosdick
- a crack pipe
- The Bobs
- A drive-up bank window with one of those cool pneumatic tubes
- Esther Dyson
- The Kids from C.A.P.E.R.
- Peeing Calvin
- Tama Janowitz
- Ariel Sharon
- The word "biro"
- Slimey the Worm
- a cowboy
- corduroy O.P. shorts
- The Burning Man
- Lowly Worm
- The unethical practice of long-distance service "slamming"
- Boron
- The New Main Library
- Minnie Pearl
- John Hegelin
- Hell, pretty much _any_ worm
- Kuro5hin.org
- Del Taco
- IPv6
- a sexy cat
- The Dipsea Footrace
- "Faces of Death" and "Faces of Death II" (good couple costume)
- Belden Alley
- Wayne and Garth
- Billy Bragg
- PLUR
- Elroy's getting hit by a wrecking ball
- That crazy UFO guy from US Web. Hah! He's CRAZY, man!
- miniperl
- a princess
- Memepool
- a Grand Slam breakfast
- ANS Forth
- a Wiki
- XHTML
- B2B vs. B2C e-commerce (another good couple costume)
- Deep Throat (the fellatio trick)
- The Seemen
- Del Amo Shopping Center
- slam-dancing
- Angie Dickenson in "Policewoman"
- Bonita Applebaum
- Humbert Humbert
- The song "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
