Build Date: Sat Aug 8 07:10:26 2026 UTC
I love America so much that I want to fuck it.
-- Miss Conduct
What The Hell is This?
2000-05-02 00:43:47
This week, Mr. Bad is taking some time off as he undergoes a radical new operation: having a second liver installed. Mr. Bad's List will feature guest writers Flesh & Abby…
In the late 20th century you could find in every home across America the sickening sweet, syrupy drawings or candles of two naked Keene-esque kids. Normally these drawings would feature the mutant children holding hands, giving flowers to one another, shedding tears on swings, or other situations that would make normal, law abiding citizens grab assault weapons to go on a justifiable shooting rampage.
Most of the Pigdog staff has had, at one time or another, been faced with the painful situation of having to try to explain to the uninformed layman what Pigdog is. Usually, this happens a few minutes before a recreational substance induced coma sets in. In an effort to try to make some sense of what in-the-hell is going on, we have flashed back to those innocent "Love Is…" days to paint a sweet picture for you. We would have supplied drawings to go with these, but our resident artist threatened torture involving moose antlers if we ever suggested it again. So you will just have to use what little imagination you have.
Pigdog is…
- … voluntarily putting your liver through tortures last recorded in Spanish dungeons during the Inquisition.
- … taking a person’s most painful, emotionally shattering moments of their lives, publicly releasing them and holding it against them - all for a cheap laugh. Nothing personal, y’know.
- … releasing your unbridled, over-inflated, intoxicated ego on a bunch of innocent people.
- … going out for a just a couple of drinks, and ending up 500 miles away in search of the best bowl of chili in the state.
- … waking up in the storeroom of a Tijuana Cantina with a passed out hooker.
- … spitting a mouthful of beer on trendy, faux hipsters as you are leaving the premises.
- … sleeping in an adult video arcade.
- … throwing full bottles of beer out the window of a vehicle on the Bay Bridge, because the beer sucks.
- … getting arrested for attempting to break into your own apartment.
- … going into the Mitchell Brothers Adult Theater, and having light saber duels with the flashlights.
- … showing up in drag to meet friends and/or associates you haven't seen in several years and barely know.
- … dropping acid in church with your mom.
- … falling into either a K or E hole, and liking it…. REALLY liking it!
- … never having to say you are wrong, even when you are.
- … never having to say you’re sorry, even when you know you should.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
