"Talking" Gorilla Learns to ask for Codeine
2004-08-09 16:44:31
Koko the signing gorilla made history this week, when she underwent dental surgery for a self-diagnosed toothache.
The famous gorilla, who can sign over 1,000 words and has an IQ over 75--higher than many mid-level managers--told her handlers that she had a toothache by pointing to her mouth and flashing the symbol for "pain". Her handlers gave her pain medication, and 12 medical specialists volunteered to perform treatment.
Of course, this is just the sort of thing that drives the press crazy, and the story has been reported across the globe. For some reason, stories about "talking" animals just go over better than stories about the latest developments in neurology or particle physics.
The upshot to all these press stories about Koko's health is that we get a rare glimpse into the private life of the world's most famous gorilla. For instance, we learn about Koko's lushly appointed apartment in Woodside, California, where she enjoys television and DVD movies. We also learn about her sex life, and about how she and her partner of 11 years have been trying to conceive for years (Koko was given a clean gynecological/obstetric bill of health, leading to wild speculation that her partner may be firing blanks).
The aching tooth was successfully removed under anesthesia. There is no word yet what led to the tooth decay, although Koko's dietary habits may leave something to be desired. When the medical specialists met with Koko before the surgery, Koko "asked one woman wearing red to come closer. The woman handed her a business card, which Koko promptly ate."
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)