Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain


"Talking" Gorilla Learns to ask for Codeine
2004-08-09 16:44:31

Monkey Business
Guinness at 6:30 AM! Delicious!
-- Ratsnatcher


Koko the signing gorilla made history this week, when she underwent dental surgery for a self-diagnosed toothache.

The famous gorilla, who can sign over 1,000 words and has an IQ over 75--higher than many mid-level managers--told her handlers that she had a toothache by pointing to her mouth and flashing the symbol for "pain". Her handlers gave her pain medication, and 12 medical specialists volunteered to perform treatment.

Of course, this is just the sort of thing that drives the press crazy, and the story has been reported across the globe. For some reason, stories about "talking" animals just go over better than stories about the latest developments in neurology or particle physics.

The upshot to all these press stories about Koko's health is that we get a rare glimpse into the private life of the world's most famous gorilla. For instance, we learn about Koko's lushly appointed apartment in Woodside, California, where she enjoys television and DVD movies. We also learn about her sex life, and about how she and her partner of 11 years have been trying to conceive for years (Koko was given a clean gynecological/obstetric bill of health, leading to wild speculation that her partner may be firing blanks).

The aching tooth was successfully removed under anesthesia. There is no word yet what led to the tooth decay, although Koko's dietary habits may leave something to be desired. When the medical specialists met with Koko before the surgery, Koko "asked one woman wearing red to come closer. The woman handed her a business card, which Koko promptly ate."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

by Mr. Bad


The Compulsive Splicer

Space aliens are breeding with humans, says Oxford instructor


Master Squid

Man killed by crossbow in Germany led 'medieval cult'


El Destino

Crazy bitcoin-trading "seasteader" forced to run by the Thai government



Alex Jones Admits To Being Psychotic.



Alex Jones Throws Temper Tantrum After Being Laughed At.



So what's the time? It's time to get ill! Alex Jones Smokes Some Kind. Gets Really Paranoid


El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders


Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson


Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE


Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders

More Quickies...