Build Date: Sat Apr 20 10:40:03 2024 UTC
Blackhawks are just big, dumb troop carriers, like flying AC Transit buses.
-- Tjames Madison
Web Search Engines Are Falling Down on the Job!
1999-07-07 18:18:38
Scientists say that all of the search engines -- AltaVista, Google, Excite, etc., etc., -- have absolutely MISERABLE performance, and they are getting WORSE. Not a single engine has indexed more than 16% of the Web's estimated 800 million pages.
Even when you combine the results of all the major search engines together, they only cover approximately 40% of the 15 terabytes of data available on the web.
How are you supposed to even do a search like that?! Metacrawler and Dogpile, etc., aren't comprehensive enough. You would have to write your own search tools or something! And that would make you CRAZY!
When the same scientists (researchers at NEC) looked at search engines in 1997, coverage was significantly BETTER. Last time around, some search engines managed to cover as much as a third of the web. So basically, the web has been growing so fast, and getting so OBESE, that the search engines have not been able to keep up for one reason or another...
Meanwhile, HotBot, Excite, Lycos, etc., keep adding new gadgets and features, and redesigning their interfaces and home pages.
AltaVista, for instance, recently added "paid listings" (read: bribes to skew search results) and they redid their home page again this month. That's another thing that the study points out -- search engines are badly BIASED in favor of commercial stuff in the United States. They don't index stuff at universities (.edu) or in Canadia (.ca) as much. So "paid listings" are probably not going to help matters there.
Maybe the search engines should try concentrating on COVERAGE. Barry Rubinson, AltaVista's VP of Engineering, says their index currently contains only 150 million pages. Now AltaVista has a a new "Search Freshness Guarantee," reminiscent of Budweiser's "Born On Dating," which promises that links are only a month old at most. That's great, but how are they going to live up to their stated goal of indexing the ENTIRE WEB?
I mean, GAR!! If you search for "+Pigdog +DiCaprio" NO RESULTS COME BACK. We have told them to index our "Leonardo DiCaprio Exposed As A Freemason!" article a hundred times!
To be fair, AltaVista has been going through some tumultuous times, being sold on the auction block and whatnot, and I don't mean to just pick on them...
Netscape, for another example, just redesigned their search engine, too. It now uses Google instead of Excite, and it has some sort of voodoo shit from "Smart Browsing" thrown in.
Crapola Engine, Northern Lights, supposedly has the most comprehensive index. I just tried a search for "Pigdog" on it, and the whole thing timed out (Uh, great).
The results of this search engine study are published in an article in "Nature." So I'm not making this up. These search engines are quite impotent.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)