ATI! Because it kind of rocks.


Transfer Capacitor Storage Device
1999-06-30 11:11:10

Laughable Technology
Not even a vulcan can know the unknown.
-- Spock


The American Computer Company produced a web page announcing its new Transfer Capacitor Storage Device that can store 90GB on a device the size of a poker chip. Unlike previous announcements that ACC has made, this one is ALMOST FREE of references to the Roswell saucer crash and alien technologies.

"We have no idea where the drawings from which we derived our TCAP came from. They were extremely complex but not that detailed, we had to fill in the gaps. Obviously, very deep studies were performed, and IBM and Western Electric (Bell Labs) were involved in the 1947-1955 analysis of this technology, but from WHERE did it come? Neither IBM nor Bell could figure out what it did back then, but we have the advantages of a very brilliant scientist, and 50 years later science. Yet, compared to what the Army allegedly discovered 50 years ago, our rendering is probably rather primitive, but over time, as we develop more facilities, we should be able to migrate the Transcap into mainstream, replacing the Transistor. Average Humanity must be, on the intelligence scale, the equivalent of a "low grade moron" compared with wherever this device's design came from. In a report read to me yesterday, we have been told that IBM is extremely 'jumpy' about all this, and local confidential inquiries in the Westchester County, New York area around IBM's "New Orchard Road, Armonk" headquarters seems to indicate that while most IBM'ers agree with what we are doing 100%, IBM Corporate Relations continues to try to find ways to upset our applecart, pardon my pun."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
by Mr. Bad, Crackmonkey

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
by El Destino

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny


The Compulsive Splicer

Space aliens are breeding with humans, says Oxford instructor


Master Squid

Man killed by crossbow in Germany led 'medieval cult'


El Destino

Crazy bitcoin-trading "seasteader" forced to run by the Thai government



Alex Jones Admits To Being Psychotic.



Alex Jones Throws Temper Tantrum After Being Laughed At.



So what's the time? It's time to get ill! Alex Jones Smokes Some Kind. Gets Really Paranoid


El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders


Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson


Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE


Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders

More Quickies...