Build Date: Fri Jul 11 12:40:42 2025 UTC
Man, what a shitty week I am having... grumpy doesn't even begin to describe my mood. Chachi, say something stupid so I can yell at you.
-- Johnnie Royale
Night of the Living Dead OS
2000-06-22 14:13:16
Won't the Ameager ever DIE???
They're at it again. I don't know why or how, but some crazy Germans and Washingtonians are pushing the Amiga at us again.
With the first press release "Amiga's relationship with Corel a RAGING SUCCESS" dated April 1, 2000, I figured that this had to be some sick pervert's April Fool joke. But no, this seems to be an ACTUAL COMPANY running like a forty-five year-old with a potbelly trying to score touchdowns in the Super Bowl to reclaim his delusions of High School glory.
From the day that Amiga reneged on their contract with Atari and sold their system to Commodore (nice to get paid twice for one job, huh?), the Amiga has been the evil interloper designed to make us thankful we were using a mainstream OS, and to remind us what not to do when using an "alternative" OS. Thankfully, the word "Amiga" has become synonymous with "loser that's been left in the past but still thinks its better than everything else." So you hear the inevitable comparisons between the Amiga and OS/2, or the Amiga and Betamax (interestingly, you can substitute "Betamax" for "Amiga" in any conversation and not notice the difference, as in "d00d, xxxxxx just was too good for commercial success. People didn't need that kind of professional quality. Look, TV stations still use xxxxxx!". See? I rest my case).
Now the Ameager even has Javur and runs on the PowerPC chip. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
