Build Date: Mon Oct 5 15:22:19 2026 UTC
It's all about balance ...and sleep. Only I forgot what the sleep part is really like.
-- Bad Pixie
I Represent All of Christendom
1999-12-14 19:53:08
FINALLY! The Catholic Church has recognized my leadership in the ecumenical world by granting me license to represent them on-line! My fabulous new catholic.org email address proves it!
It's surpisingly EASY to get a catholic.org email address. I would normally not deserve one, considering that I have practically zero experience with Catholicism. My closest tie is my abnormal fascination with the machinations of the world-controlling Society of Jesus and its shadowy army of black-robed ninjas, so maybe that's why they threw this accolade my way. I am more than a little proud that mister_bad@catholic.org has such a euphonious ring to it.
Are you up for the challenge? If you pass the goats-vs.-sheep, wheat-vs.-chaff test of the coolio registration Web form that they have on the site, YOU TOO could be qualified to represent the Catholic Church in worldly matters! Become a power-broker for the world's largest non-governmental organization! Wear pointy hats and remarkably complex and inscrutable vestments! Speak authoritatively on transubstantiation and Albigensianism! Issue your own papal bulls! Persecute heretics on- and off-line! Excommunicate your enemies at WILL!
Rock on! Catholic dot org! Check it out!
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Robert Helms makes a living volunteering for medical experiments. Though Helms — and almost all guinea pigs — get paid for their participation in medical trials, they are still "volunteers" according to a byzantine legal code. They are compensated for their time, not paid to ingest medicine. He and "guinea pigs" like him have learned the intimate art of taking catheters in their veins, tubes in their intestines, EKG electrodes on their nipples. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
