Build Date: Thu Jan 8 02:50:09 2026 UTC
Anyone who capitalizes Punk Rock or Artist, even inside the privacy of their own brain, should be fucking shot.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Jerry Springer Sanitized!
1999-05-26 05:23:46
There has always been a purity to the Jerry Springer show. Over the years, it has become nastier, and increasingly brutal, and it has come to represent the ultimate distillation of trash talk show television. A classic for all time! It was just too good to last. Now, the show has been castrated--right at the end of sweeps week...
The gossip talk show format may be evil, but the Jerry Springer show was the purest, most innovative example of the genre. And it had the highest ratings...
Unlike Sally, Montel, and Maury, who are stuck with the old formula, i.e., destroying people's lives on TV while pretending to help them, and unlike Oprah and Jenny who only do "nice" shows anymore with makeovers and cooking tips, Jerry has pushed the core aspects of the format -- sensational sex gossip, confrontation, violent outbreaks, weeping, public shame and humiliation -- to their limits. The Jerry Springer show is much more honest, more raw. Lately, even Jerry's signature moralizing at the end of the show has turned into little more than a commentary on who the guests were and why they were fighting, in case you couldn't figure it out based on who was stomping who.
In the last couple of years, the show has become a vicious fighting arena for hillbillies, degenerates, and freaks stupid enough to appear. The audience is little more than an angry, hopped up mob who would gladly stone the guests to death, or pelt them with rocks and garbage if they were given the opportunity. This year Springer has added a new twist: the guests have been physically attacking the audience and vice versa. Genius!
But all of this innovation and purity comes at a price. Jerry has been the focal point of the critics' and politicians' attacks on the whole gossip talk show format. And now USA Networks is running scared. Against the protests of local affiliate stations everywhere, they have been showing reruns of ancient Springer shows that have no punch. And worse, they promise to cut the heart out of the show, turning it into some kind of milquetoast, sissy Oprah shit.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
