Build Date: Mon Aug 10 01:40:18 2026 UTC
I think a man is as big as what makes him mad.
-- Reno Smith
Darwin award missed by THAT much...
2006-09-06 12:15:08
Stupid fuck extraordinaire, Steve Irwin, has fucked with his last wild animal. An asshole even by Australian standards, Irwin fucked around with the wrong stingray and took a poisoned barb directly in the heart.
Irwin's lasting contribution to conservation ranks with that of the roadrunner.
Just as even the most implacable hater of coyotes couldn't help but root for the coyote to prevail, even the most hardened herpetophobe watching Irwin torment yet another hapless victim found himself hoping that just this once the crocodile or cobra would get a piece of the ex-wanker, eliciting the croak of a mercifully final death-crikey.
Irwin's lasting contribution to science is a tentative answer to the age-old question "just precisely how stupid is too stupid to live?"
Experts contend that at the end of every episode, the failure of this menace to wildlife to pay the ultimate price for his reckless stupidity produced a clearly audible sigh from Darwin's ghost. Sadly, his lamentable genetic legacy was passed on to progeny before his stupidity caught up with him. So, for those keeping score, that's Irwin 0;Stingray 1; Darwin's score disallowed on a technicality.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
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The Innocent San Francisco Mule
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Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
