Build Date: Fri Jul 4 14:30:12 2025 UTC
The chance that anyone has a bomb on a plane is very, very small. The chance that TWO people are carrying bombs is infinitessimally small. That's why I always carry a bomb with me when I fly. It improves my odds of surviving the flight without getting blown to bits.
-- enigma
Darwin award missed by THAT much...
2006-09-06 12:15:08
Stupid fuck extraordinaire, Steve Irwin, has fucked with his last wild animal. An asshole even by Australian standards, Irwin fucked around with the wrong stingray and took a poisoned barb directly in the heart.
Irwin's lasting contribution to conservation ranks with that of the roadrunner.
Just as even the most implacable hater of coyotes couldn't help but root for the coyote to prevail, even the most hardened herpetophobe watching Irwin torment yet another hapless victim found himself hoping that just this once the crocodile or cobra would get a piece of the ex-wanker, eliciting the croak of a mercifully final death-crikey.
Irwin's lasting contribution to science is a tentative answer to the age-old question "just precisely how stupid is too stupid to live?"
Experts contend that at the end of every episode, the failure of this menace to wildlife to pay the ultimate price for his reckless stupidity produced a clearly audible sigh from Darwin's ghost. Sadly, his lamentable genetic legacy was passed on to progeny before his stupidity caught up with him. So, for those keeping score, that's Irwin 0;Stingray 1; Darwin's score disallowed on a technicality.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
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A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
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What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
