Boy Howdy! That's some damn fine Pigdog!


The Parkway Theater Rox Like Sox in a Box!
2000-08-07 23:42:45

Drive-In Pigdog
Most of the time "ugly" is a state of mind. To surpass that state of mind, you have to encourage the ugly person to reach beyond their ugliness - this is what the liquor is for. If that doesn't work, you'll need to look very hard for the inner beauty of the ugly person - this is what the paper bag is for.
-- MLP


Last week I made my first pilgrimage to the Parkway Theater in Oakland, California to see American Pimp. I think I have found Movie Theater Nirvana!

The Parkway Theater isn't your average movie theater. It's way above average. So far above average in fact that the line that marks "average" is a tiny speck so far below you wouldn't know what it was unless someone told you.

First off, The Parkway Theater has Will "The Thrill" and Tiki Goddess. Will was out greeting people in front of the theater when we showed up, wearing a tuxedo I rejected as being too tacky when I went to my Senior Prom way back when. (I dressed in a baby blue tux with matching pants and shoes, a white frilled shirt, and a blue bow tie.) Will was decked out in something similar, only with a lot more pink accents and more frills. I didn't see Tiki Goddess, but I've heard rumors.

Once you're in the Parkway head for the snack bar and order a couple of pitchers of beer and a pizza. (The Pigdog crack beverage research team ordered eight pitchers of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and one large pepperoni pizza.) You heard me correctly, the Parkway serves beer, on tap, in glass pitchers with glass pint glasses. They also cook up a great pepperoni pizza, which their staff delivers to your seat while you're watching the movie.

I bet right now you're thinking "That sounds great! But how do you eat a pizza when you're sitting in a movie theater? Where do you set a pitcher of beer down while you're squeezing down the aisle, squirming past people already seated?"

You don't. The Parkway is FAR too civilized to make you put up with such nonsense. The Parkway has ripped out most of the rows of seats you'd find in an average theater and replaced them with couches and upholstered chairs. They also have cocktail tables placed near the couches so you'll have a place to set that pitcher of beer, your glasses, and the pizza when it arrives.

So you can now sit back with your friends, have a few pints of beer, watch a GREAT movie like American Pimp, eat pizza, and leave feeling that the world is a better place.

The Parkway shows classic movies, documentaries, and new releases. This month they've been showing High Fidelity, Me, Myself, and Irene, Shaft (the new one), Chicken Run, Grass, and It Happened One Night. I'm going to go again. Soon.

(You can find current information on all of the Parkway Theater's shows at

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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