Build Date: Tue Oct 22 17:50:14 2024 UTC
i'm sorry for using quasi-real names and being gory.
-- Sylvia
Robotic Red Light District on the move
2023-08-14 16:20:43
The next time you take a robotaxi in San Francisco, you may want to bring along some wet wipes, because San Franciscans love to get down and dirty in The City's robotaxis. With no driver to admonish you, or clean up after you, anything goes in the backseats of these love nests on wheels.
The most popular taxis for fucking in are Cruise vehicles. Reporters couldn't find anyone who had sex in a Waymo.
"We're working hard to make sure our service is safe, clean, and open to everyone, and riders agree to do their part when they sign up to use our service," a Cruise spokesperson said. To clean spillage from the seats would imply that Cruise knows when someone just had sex and that they send the car for cleaning afterwards. Since the car's forward-facing cameras can tell the difference between a stop sign and a homeless man, it shouldn't be too hard to program in the interior cameras to tell the difference between a passenger sitting quietly and a passenger getting their cream pie all over the leather seats.
According to the Cruise web site, "We record video inside of the car for added safety and support. If something happened during your ride, we might review the recording to better understand what happened. We only record audio during active support calls." If you're interested in seeing these videos yourself, just check Pornhub. If they're not there yet, they soon will be.
Scientists saw this coming. A study titled Autonomous vehicles and the future of urban tourism, published in the January 2019 edition of the Annals of Tourism, predicted that "prostitution, and sex more generally, in moving CAVs (connected and autonomous vehicles), becomes a growing phenomenon. For instance, 'hotels-by-the-hour' are likely to be replaced by CAVs, and this will have implications for urban tourism, as sex plays a central role in many tourism experiences (e.g. Carr, 2016). While SCAVs (shared CAVs) will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, and to prevent violence, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled or removed. Moreover, personal CAVs will likely be immune from such surveillance. Such private CAVs may also be put to commercial use, as it is just a small leap to imagine Amsterdam’s Red Light District 'on the move'."
In addition to Cruise employees watching soundless videos of passengers getting on and getting off, anyone on the street or a nearby car can also see inside the vehicle and see what's going on, which is part of the thrill for Cruise's exhibitionist passengers.
"In one instance, an individual outside of the car, in another car, looked in and basically had an understanding of what was happening—and he smiled," a recent passenger said. "It was not like a negative reaction; it was almost humorous. Certain people have a different threshold of concerns about public situations."
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)