Build Date: Fri Jul 19 17:30:08 2024 UTC

Your life is at the crossroads of pleasant ennui and sheer terror.
-- Mr. Bad

Robotic Red Light District on the move

by Baron Earl

2023-08-14 16:20:43

The next time you take a robotaxi in San Francisco, you may want to bring along some wet wipes, because San Franciscans love to get down and dirty in The City's robotaxis. With no driver to admonish you, or clean up after you, anything goes in the backseats of these love nests on wheels.

The most popular taxis for fucking in are Cruise vehicles. Reporters couldn't find anyone who had sex in a Waymo.

"We're working hard to make sure our service is safe, clean, and open to everyone, and riders agree to do their part when they sign up to use our service," a Cruise spokesperson said. To clean spillage from the seats would imply that Cruise knows when someone just had sex and that they send the car for cleaning afterwards. Since the car's forward-facing cameras can tell the difference between a stop sign and a homeless man, it shouldn't be too hard to program in the interior cameras to tell the difference between a passenger sitting quietly and a passenger getting their cream pie all over the leather seats.

According to the Cruise web site, "We record video inside of the car for added safety and support. If something happened during your ride, we might review the recording to better understand what happened. We only record audio during active support calls." If you're interested in seeing these videos yourself, just check Pornhub. If they're not there yet, they soon will be.

Scientists saw this coming. A study titled Autonomous vehicles and the future of urban tourism, published in the January 2019 edition of the Annals of Tourism, predicted that "prostitution, and sex more generally, in moving CAVs (connected and autonomous vehicles), becomes a growing phenomenon. For instance, 'hotels-by-the-hour' are likely to be replaced by CAVs, and this will have implications for urban tourism, as sex plays a central role in many tourism experiences (e.g. Carr, 2016). While SCAVs (shared CAVs) will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, and to prevent violence, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled or removed. Moreover, personal CAVs will likely be immune from such surveillance. Such private CAVs may also be put to commercial use, as it is just a small leap to imagine Amsterdam’s Red Light District 'on the move'."

In addition to Cruise employees watching soundless videos of passengers getting on and getting off, anyone on the street or a nearby car can also see inside the vehicle and see what's going on, which is part of the thrill for Cruise's exhibitionist passengers.

"In one instance, an individual outside of the car, in another car, looked in and basically had an understanding of what was happening—and he smiled," a recent passenger said. "It was not like a negative reaction; it was almost humorous. Certain people have a different threshold of concerns about public situations."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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