Build Date: Sat Jul 5 19:30:24 2025 UTC
Also, when I was your age, we walked ten miles each way to school in smog as thick as pipe smoke, wearing respirators, through mudslides, while being chased by serial killers. And we LIKED it that way.
-- Tjames Madison
It's Saturday Morning. Watch Some Half-Century Old Cartoons
2021-10-23 15:51:57
"Grandpa, tell us what TV was like half a century ago?"
"Well, sometimes things got really weird...."
It has stars! And a synthesizer! And 49 years later you can still watch it on YouTube! Of course I'm talking about the opening credits for the "Saturday Superstar Movie" -- one of the strangest programs ever broadcast over America's airwaves.
Grandpa Destino: "See, back in my day, you couldn't watch cartoons 24/7, 'cuz there weren't no such thing as the Cartoon Network. Nope, they only showed cartoons on one day. Saturday! Oh, how we kids loved Saturday mornin'... One glorious morning, on one day a week, all the networks would pile up all their cartoons like a big mess o' toys, and compete to see who could dazzle us children the most..."
So in 1972 ABC concocted an extravagant series of one-off cartoons they'd broadcast as hour-long "movies" starring a different character each week. And they'd billed the whole messy melange as "The Saturday Superstar Movies." Yes, that is Willie Mays. In a cartoon. The week before, it was Popeye.
In "Willie Mays and the Say-Hey Kid" -- which, again, is an hour-long cartoon -- a guardian angel agrees to help center fielder Willie Mays win the National League Pennant, but only if he agrees to be the godfather of an orphaned girl named Veronica.
And the season ended with animated adventures of Marlo Thomas's That Girl. "The Brady Kids on Mysterious Island" explained how Marcia and Greg met that inexplicable magic talking bird. There's a movie where Yogi Bear and his eco-terrorist pals flee a declining civilization in a flying ark. And, for some reason: Oliver Twist. (Because you know how much children love Dickensenian tales about impoverished orphans living in 19th-century pre-industrial England...)
But each week tried to offer its own answer to the question: who exactly qualifies as a "Saturday Superstar"? (The Banana Splits! Daffy Duck! Gidget! Lassie....) There was even an animated version of Lost in Space. And they must've known something, because more than one of these hour-long "movies" spawned an entire TV series.
But what's even weirder is someone's created a web page for the entire series on Wikipedia, so you can marvel at all the gratuitous cartoon-y goodness.
Grandpa Destino: Yep. They don't make 'em like that any more...
A cartoon version of Willie Mays. Yep....
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
