Build Date: Mon Feb 16 23:00:11 2026 UTC
The only questions worth asking today are whether humans are going to have any emotions tomorrow, and what the quality of life will be if the answer is no.
-- Lester Bangs
Top 10 ways...
2005-04-04 15:50:02
...to tell that the Pope is dead.
- Popemobile up on blocks in front of St. Marks.
- Pope hats suddenly missing from new boxes of Lucky Charms.
- Pope doesn't move when you poke him with a stick.
- Chevy Chase fans keep saying, "This just in: the Pope is still dead."
- Other Chevy Chase fans keep replying, "More on this story as it develops."
- TV news hasn't mentioned Michael Jackson trial in more than 24 hours.
- Cardinals now running attack ads on Vatican TV.
- Visitors to Vatican no longer hoping for glimpse of Pope in window - now hoping for glimpse of Pope in box, instead.
- Ringo now demanding next Pope be named for him and George.
- Price of Pope action figures on eBay has tripled.
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