Build Date: Fri Mar 29 14:00:07 2024 UTC
I wonder how the engineering would change if the racecars had to race through peanut butter and the cars had to be made entirely out of wicker.
-- Mr. Bad
You Are Being Eaten By Invisible Vampires
2002-10-12 12:53:24
So, anyways, did I mention that I learned toki pona? I learned toki pona. And as much as I loathe the vapid philosophy behind the tokipona.org Web site, I gotta say: I'm glad they have a link to whywork.org.
I hate working. Hate it. Hate being told what to do, hate being on the hamster wheel of work-spend-work-spend, hate the stress, hate tying up my inner well-being with somebody's idea of what's good for some faceless and loathesome corporation. I hate working.
I don't believe in the power of work to make you a better individual. I have been "in the work force" for, gawd, almost 15 years, and it hasn't made me any better. I am just as bad a person today as when I got my first high-school job. Work has not improved me one tiny bit.
Work does not help my self-exteem, either. I feel like parboiled shitburgers after a day of working. I don't feel like a happy member of the Burger King team. I feel like I got run over by a lard truck. I have a lot of things in my life that I'm proud of, but most of them involve drug and alcohol binges, sex, driving recklessly and being a smart-ass. The ones that involve work are fleeting and minor.
So, anyways, work is stupid, boring, and wrong. There's obviously enough money and stuff in the world that we should all be able to live like KINGS and go to work once a week, maybe, do our time a bit and then go home and have great monkey sex and eat ice cream. I really believe this. The fact that we all still live like disposable soot-faced 19th-century factory children is abominable.
But I have a hard time expressing these things. I dunno. Nobody believes me when I say that we should have an economy BEYOND WORK, probably because I'm lazy, contrary, and unemployed. And it's not the American Way, after all. Work is what we do. Work is what makes you valuable in this world.
So I was kind of glad to find the link below on the toki pona Web site. whywork.org is all about telling people to QUIT FUCKING WORKING. Which is a great message. I can mine that site for excellent anti-work propaganda. You should look at it, too. Ha ha ha!
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)