Build Date: Thu Sep 10 16:55:24 2026 UTC
Hey, Tjames, pull my virtual finger.
-- Johnnie Royale
You Are Being Eaten By Invisible Vampires
2002-10-12 12:53:24
So, anyways, did I mention that I learned toki pona? I learned toki pona. And as much as I loathe the vapid philosophy behind the tokipona.org Web site, I gotta say: I'm glad they have a link to whywork.org.
I hate working. Hate it. Hate being told what to do, hate being on the hamster wheel of work-spend-work-spend, hate the stress, hate tying up my inner well-being with somebody's idea of what's good for some faceless and loathesome corporation. I hate working.
I don't believe in the power of work to make you a better individual. I have been "in the work force" for, gawd, almost 15 years, and it hasn't made me any better. I am just as bad a person today as when I got my first high-school job. Work has not improved me one tiny bit.
Work does not help my self-exteem, either. I feel like parboiled shitburgers after a day of working. I don't feel like a happy member of the Burger King team. I feel like I got run over by a lard truck. I have a lot of things in my life that I'm proud of, but most of them involve drug and alcohol binges, sex, driving recklessly and being a smart-ass. The ones that involve work are fleeting and minor.
So, anyways, work is stupid, boring, and wrong. There's obviously enough money and stuff in the world that we should all be able to live like KINGS and go to work once a week, maybe, do our time a bit and then go home and have great monkey sex and eat ice cream. I really believe this. The fact that we all still live like disposable soot-faced 19th-century factory children is abominable.
But I have a hard time expressing these things. I dunno. Nobody believes me when I say that we should have an economy BEYOND WORK, probably because I'm lazy, contrary, and unemployed. And it's not the American Way, after all. Work is what we do. Work is what makes you valuable in this world.
So I was kind of glad to find the link below on the toki pona Web site. whywork.org is all about telling people to QUIT FUCKING WORKING. Which is a great message. I can mine that site for excellent anti-work propaganda. You should look at it, too. Ha ha ha!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
