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But Do You Have to Turn Saddam Over Halfway Through?
2002-08-09 22:55:58


Deadly Things
 
I am completely drunk ... Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...
-- Johnnie Royale

 

Like a child on Christmas morning who can't wait to play with his new toys, the U.S. military is hoping to test out new microwave weaponry for the first time in a war with Iraq.

These microwave weapons would release a short, powerful burst of microwave radiation that would scramble computer memories and other electronic devices, temporarily or permanently disabling them.

Not only will Saddam's army be unable to play Nintendo in their underground bunkers, but anti-aircraft guns would have to be manned and aimed by hand, Iraqi soldiers would have to aim their rifles and pull the triggers manually, and tanks of nerve gas will have to have their manual valves opened by hand.

On a positive note, any weapon systems that do use microelectronics -- missles, radar, aircraft, command and control systems, and atomic bomb triggers, can be destroyed without killing anyone -- civilians or military personnel. (Of course that also means that plenty of Iraqi fighters will still be around to engage in hand-to-hand combat when our ground forces move in.)

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

eatme@pigdog.org


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