Build Date: Thu Sep 10 16:55:24 2026 UTC
Any magazine without double penetration is a waste of time.
-- Mr. Bad
Ninjas: The Ultimate DEADLY THING
2002-01-18 12:30:09
Top five things that make me fear and exult: 5) Amyl nitrate. 4) Car crashes. 3) Courtroom showdowns. 2) Sex in public. 1) the REAL ULTIMATE POWER of a full-on NINJA ATTACK. Suweet!
OK, so, I don't have a lot to say about this site, but I didn't want to make a teeny- weeny little short-link quicky link, because I know that most Pigdog Journal readers don't take them seriously enough. I mean, fuck, we've got the entire functionality of memepool.com right down at the bottom of our index page, EVERY DAY updated with new and interesting links, and nobody ever looks at them and/or reads them. It's SAD and DEPRESSING.
So I guess I've totally veered off the NINJA ISSUE into decrying the sad state of affairs with Pigdog Journal readers. Read the Quickies, you ass-munching losers! Don't get distracted by the flashy pictures and clever layout options at the top of the page! Think for yourself! DON'T click that picture just because it has a FOYN piece of ASS on it. DON'T LET JAKOB NIELSON be right! Style doesn't matter for shit.
OK, uh, I guess I should start rounding this article out with some conclusiatory statements of comically overstated exhortation. Which would probably require reining in this unhelpful need for woolgathering self-reference and swinging the discussion back around to the TOPIC at HAND, namely: NINJAS. With that in mind, I ask you to DIG THIS -- ninjas fucking rock, and they are funny, and you should go read about them. And that's about all I have to say. Onward, Pigdog hordes!
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
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NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
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Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
