Here's something you don't get enough of on the web; a whole
site apparently devoted to the sorts of "inspirational" stories
and poems you normally find in the back pages of TRUE STORY
magazine and the intermittent Ann Landers column on a day when
Ann is feeling really lazy.
Take a good long look at "My Dear Wife," for instance, a charming little
morality tale about a man who writes his wife a letter letting her know that
"Jesus came for me today, while you were at work." It seems he asked Jesus if
his wife could come along, too, but Jesus, that stern taskmaster, said no. The
rest of the letter is basically this schmuck saying "You're going to Hell, sorry
it had to turn out that way." Uplifting background music is provided.
On the flip side is "Letter From Satan," wherein even sterner taskmaster
B.L. Zebub drops a cheery note on an unsuspecting sod, exhorting his anonymous
prey to teach children to sin so they can go to hell faster: "So go ahead and
teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, drink alcoholic
beverages, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and listen to and dance to the top
10 jams." I always suspected the Backstreet Boys were EVIL.
While you're visiting this Repository of Bad, be sure to check out other such
classics as "An Angel Called 'Mommy,'" "God Knows the Score," and "Children
Learn What They Live." You'll be glad you did, and maybe you won't go to HELL!
