Build Date: Fri Oct 4 12:30:07 2024 UTC
Point? What point? Who's got the point? Taco BOING!
-- Tjames Madison
Me No Fear The Reaper
2000-03-28 01:06:12
It's like skunkbait for Massively Cool Dudes with Awesome Mini Trucks and way bitchin' mullets, an instant portal into the pinhead dimension and an easy mark for "Calvin Pissing on..." sticker collecters. It, like, totally, like, sums up the total, like, way you approach your life: NO FEAR, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
And I can't tell what's dumber, the guy who slaps that phrase on his chest or his ass or the rear window of his ridiculous truck, or the dumbass on the witness stand here who embraces the whole "No Fear" culture with such vigor and zest that he simply cannot contain himself from sitting down and pinching off his cruel loaf of a website to inform and update others about goings-on in the growing-by-leaps-and-by-bounds worldwide "No Fear" fraternity.
Hey, it's bad enough that the anonymous asspipe who maintains this site considers a dorky, acne-ridden, wispy-mustachioed one-liner to not only be an entire philosophy, but apparently the only philosophy, but what to make of the countless other sad fucks who contribute to said shitpile, in the form of, among other things, a page full of "sayings":
- "Beat you fears with a big nasty stick!" - "I feel a bruise on your horizen." - "No pads, no helmets, just Balls!" - "No crybabies!" - "No scrapes, No scares, No Proof!"
Hey NO FEAR assipes and babymen! Here's a slogan for your stupid trucks and your "ripped tees": I AM PIGDOG, AND I WILL RAGE LIKE THOR IN YOUR BUNGHOLE.
Now knock it the FUCK off, hesher!
T O P S T O R I E S
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Robert Helms makes a living volunteering for medical experiments. Though Helms — and almost all guinea pigs — get paid for their participation in medical trials, they are still "volunteers" according to a byzantine legal code. They are compensated for their time, not paid to ingest medicine. He and "guinea pigs" like him have learned the intimate art of taking catheters in their veins, tubes in their intestines, EKG electrodes on their nipples. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
Absinthe is making a come back for the Millennium. Even English people are slurping it down in pubs, eschewing their normal, healthy stouts and ales. And why not? Hell, if the planet is going to explode anyway, why not ride the DEATH WAVE in, and celebrate Y2K with the most entertaining and vicious elixir you can find? Come! Explore the "Absinthe Underground" with El Snatcher, Mr. Bad, and Splicer, as they interview the notorious absinthe bootlegger, Absinthia. (More...)
