Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:10:05 2024 UTC
If that's all there is, my friend, then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze and have a ball. If that's all there is.
-- Peggy Lee
Big Stills! Weehaw!
2000-01-12 17:57:26
I have never been a big proponent of e-commerce in any way, shape or form. OK, well, actually, I like buying gray-market drugs on the Internet. And cyberporn. But besides, that, e-commerce blows. At least, that's what I thought until I saw StillLife.com. COOLIO BOOZE STILLS!
If you've ever tried you know that it's actually really, really a big pain in the keester to put together your own distilling equipment. Not that I've tried, because that would be wrong, but I've HEARD that it's hard. So I was surprised when I found this here StillLife.com. It has a great kit with all the doodads you need to MAKE YER OWN HOOCH in the comfort of your home. How cool is that?
The really crazy part is that you could use their still-thingy to make GASOHOL or even ROCKET FUEL. OK, I don't know about that rocket fuel part, but isn't that a good idea?! Everything comes with crazy instructions and they even have a big ass book about making yer own shine. The coolest part about the site is the Y2K section, just in case you're afraid civilization is going to collapse 12 days ago. If civilization collapsed, wouldn't you have a mighty hankerin' for some WHITE LIGHTNING? I know I would.
Big caveat here: it's highly illegal to make your own booze at home. Neither Mr. Bad nor Pigdog Journal advocate this activity. BUT, according to stilllife.com, "it is definitely NOT illegal to KNOW how to do it!" So go do some research, check out stilllife.com, and tell em Pigdog sent you. Actually, don't tell them that. You don't know us. But, uh, dibs on some of your first batch.
T O P S T O R I E S
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The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
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Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
