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I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus!
1999-08-25 20:16:41

Crazy But True
Mankind is basically a battlefield... a dark cellar in which a well-bred spinster lady and a sex crazed monkey are forever engaged in mortal combat, the struggle being refereed by a rather nervous bank clerk.
-- D. Bannister


Every year Norma "Duffy" Lyon sculpts a cow out of butter for the Iowa State Fair. This year she's doing Jesus at the Last Supper. "I've knocked three fingers off him today," said the butter lady. In past years she's warmed up with Smokey the Bear, and more recently Elvis, but those icons seem to have only whetted her appetite for her masterwork, the King of Kings and his band of merry men.

The sculpture when finished will weigh nearly a ton. This year she has, as usual, also sculpted the perennial cow, which has been featured every year since 1911. The State Fair commission has announced no plans to replace the cow with a more elevating subject: "You wouldn't want to do away with the butter cow, ever," cautions Ms. Lyon.

No announcement was available as to the disposition of the butter, although butter has in the past been distributed to the poor. "This is my body which is given for you: This do in remembrance of me," Jesus commented.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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