Trouble in Beaver County
2001-03-18 07:08:26

Crazy But True
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs I see through you.
-- Bill Hicks


A drug suspect was arrested with $2,150 hidden in her vagina. And amazingly, this crazy crime took place in Beaver County.

The roll of money was discovered during a strip search. It "just kind of fell out of her," a jail warden told the Beaver County Times. Predictibly, city officials felt a little uncomfortable handling the bills, which passed from the county's judge, the D.A., the city investigators, and the county treasurer's office.

The Chief Detective at the district attorney's office told the paper that "We wore rubber gloves and wrapped it in plastic."

So where will the moeny end up? The Vice President of the Bank which ended up with the wad of bills says it'll be sent to the Federal Reserve, where it will finally be destroyed. Meanwhile, the woman who perpetrated this crime was found guilt of filling a fake prescription. Now she's on her way to the Beaver County Jail.

But her legacy remains in tact. You see, the Beaver County Times reports that she set a record for the most money ever confiscated from an inmate.

And certainly the most money ever stuffed into an inmate's vagina.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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