Steve McQueen Returns from the Dead... and He's Black
1999-12-01 00:59:52

Crazy But True
Isn't a Germanic Extropian childern's book an oxymoron? Just saying.
-- Johnnie Royale


Famed Hollywood action hero Steve McQueen, who died of cancer in 1980, has apparently returned from the grave. The resilient zombie McQueen has just been named the 1999 recipient of the UK's controversial Turner Prize, awarded annually and traditionally to the artist who seems to enrage fundamentalist art critics the most.

McQueen, who is remembered fondly as a svelte, blond, dashing white man, but is now a large black man upon his ascension from the grave, was cited for a series of filmed works which depict such things as a house collapsing and a tape recorder drifting off beneath a balloon, a far cry from his earlier works, many of which involved high-speed car chases through the streets of San Francisco.

"I would like to thank my family and friends who are here tonight," the Zombi McQueen said in a simple statement that did not touch upon his shocking reincarnation.

Not all Turner observers agreed with the selection. Many close to the scene expected a wackier entry - such as Tracey Emin's controversial display of soiled bedlinens - to take the prize. Previous winners have included Chris Ofili, who paints with elephant dung, and Damien Hirst, who produced jars containing the severed halves of cows.

McQueen did not reveal whether he plans a return to the action film genre at this time, but some industry insiders insist such a deal is eminent.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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