Build Date: Wed Dec 4 00:40:13 2024 UTC

Isaac Asimov's still dead, right? He would have probably just used an analogy involving Tinker Toys and slices of individually wrapped cheese and I would be perfectly content.
-- Tjames Madison

Pigcicle

by Baron Earl

2022-09-01 23:51:32

It's hot out, time to cool off with a frozen slab of smokey, hot-dog flavored gelato on a stick, Oscar Mayer's newest fresh-from-the-freezer treat, the Cold Dog.

Oscar Mayer says that no identifiable meat products are used when making Cold Dogs, although you can still taste the hickory-smoked hot dog flavor, along with tomatoes, onions, and some other flavors that the company declined to specify.

But wait! There's more! What frozen meat-like substance would be complete without some mustard? Not the Cold Dog, that's for sure! Every Cold Dog comes with a "mustard" swirl down the side of the meat-like stick. We have to put "mustard" in quotes here, because the actual substance is white chocolate that's been dyed bright yellow. That's right! The creators thought that every consumer would just love to wolf down some frozen meaty goodness covered with white chocolate.

Want to inflict this treat on a friend? The Cold Dog is available at select Popbar locations in Long Beach, New York City, Atlanta, and New Orleans for $2 a pop while supplies last, which should be quite a while.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

guvnor@pigdog.org

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