Build Date: Tue Mar 17 07:00:48 2026 UTC
As your attorney... I advise you to get drunk. As a drunk... I advise to go for it.
-- Johnnie Royale
Crime Wave Hits Broomfield
2000-07-14 18:41:57
Thefts, car "accidents", inappropriate juvenile touching, assaults, domestic violence, and DUI's are just a part of everyday life in Broomfield.
I don't know why I find police blotter pages so facinating, but I do. I especially love peering in at the steamy underbelly of Broomfield, USA, courtesy of their local newspaper.
From this week's police blotter:
"A juvenile was issued a summons for inappropriately touching another juvenile at 5:30 p.m. at The Bay aquatic center, 250 Lamar St." (It's amazing how a phrase like "Inappropriate touching" can sound so vague and so dirty at the same time.)
"Five juveniles were issued curfew and destruction of property summonses after being contacted at 2:15 a.m. damaging lights near Outlook and Summit trails." (What do you expect them to do after you've taken away all their drugs?)
"A window of a 1996 BMW was discovered broken at 4 p.m. while parked at Sun Microsystems, 500 Eldorado Blvd." (Doesn't "BMW" stand for "Break My Windows?")
"A flower pot was knocked over between July 7 and 7 a.m. July 8 on Willow Run Parkway." (Police are rounding up the usual suspects.)
Every week it's the same. Is there no end to the madness?
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