Build Date: Sun Mar 8 17:10:09 2026 UTC

Gentle Reader, The Word will leap on you with leopard man iron claws, it will cut off fingers and toes like an opportunist land crab, it will coil round your thighs like a bushmaster and inject a shot glass of rancid ectoplasm.
-- WSB

Why England is Dying, Chapter 309

by Tjames Madison

1999-08-21 02:17:28

Check out the BIG NEWS: some stupid flouncy British pop star is getting married to some other stupid poncy British celebrity. Again. And once again, the BBC have decided this is front page news.

I don't know who these people are. Some lame radio DJ and some guy called Fatboy Slim. I'm sure someone can tell me why Fatboy Slim is real important, but I don't care. I'm sick of these retarded British weddings.

The British Parliament will probably issue a proclamation tomorrow about this, and then some woozy old gaffer will get up and start singing a pop song. And the BBC will interview this absurd couple and ask them about relief operations in Bosnia, and then one by one, all the Spice Girls will appear on the horizon, driving tanks, and shooting flamethrowers at pensioners and sick people.

Wow. Some ponce is marrying some asswipe. Let's have a big party and laugh at the poor.

Poor, dodgy, retarded England.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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