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Sex! Sex! Says ABC News....
2001-10-04 14:45:31

Mocking Parade
When 900 years drunk you be... look this good you will not.
-- Johnnie "Yoda" Royale


"We wanna feel that flesh against flesh," a professor announced on today. Americans are "feeling horny."

"I get lots and lots of people telling me...that they feel like going out and sleeping with strangers," the female professor confides. Using words like "heightened libido" and even "horniness," the report lays out exactly what they're looking for: "just having sex with people."

The story meanders on and on, using the word 'sex' at least once every ten seconds. ("Single men and women are so desperate for sex that they're seeking out one night stands," the female reporter explains.) She crams her story with quotes from sociology professor Dr. Pepper Schwartz -- honest, that's her name! -- whose 13 books on sex include "What I've Learned about Sex" and "Great Sex Weekend." And at some point the reporter traces the heightened sense of desire to tension after the terrorist attacks in New York.

This milestone in TV news reporting turned up on both and Yahoo's round-up of the day's news. Just remember, on, it's URL includes the phrase "sex video popoff."

Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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