Build Date: Wed May 21 16:10:23 2025 UTC
A doctor friend told me that in twenty years he never saw a vegetarian
patient with disease, only trauma (gunshot wounds, for example).
-- Trevor "Fuckhead" Johnson
Metallica Sues Napster. Will Radio be their Next Target?
2000-05-04 00:21:38
Today on the radio I heard Lars Ulrich, Metallica's drummer, state that people who used Napster just wanted free music, and that music should only be available to those who pay for it. It was then that I realized that not only did Metallica not understand the Internet, but THEY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF RADIO STATIONS!
Radio, a technology unknown and mysterious to band members and the RIAA, is a new-fangled invention that allows people to listen to music for free. What's more, crack journalists at the Pigdog Journal have uncovered the fact that with the addition of a device known as a "cassette tape recorder," ANYONE can RECORD the free music they hear on their radios and listen to it again and again, FOR FREE!
We don't have exact figures yet, but my guess is that if Napster is costing RIAA performers $100 million a year, their losses due to radio stations playing music must run into TRILLIONS of dollars. If it wasn't for radio stations ripping off artists like Metallica, Lars would not only be richer than Bill Gates, he'd be richer than Larry Ellison!
Lars went on to babble that "If they [fans] want to steal Metallica’s music, instead of hiding behind their computers in their bedrooms and dorm rooms, then just go down to Tower Records and grab them [CD's] off the shelves."
No way Lars! I could get arrested if I did that. The next time I want to "steal" your intellectual property, I'm going to listen to my radio!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
