Build Date: Wed Jan 7 00:20:06 2026 UTC
I woke up at 9:00 PM yesterday, so I'm going to save my bottles of stout for this afternoon when I watch Columbo. I'm really into Columbo now.
-- Ratsnatcher
Javertising!
2000-01-23 16:46:57
It's ADVERTISING! Using JAVUR! How cool is that!?! They even call it JAVERTISING, which I have to say is the coolio name of the century.
OK, I'll admit it -- I'm not a big fan of advertising. Actually, I pretty much hate it. BUT, and here's the big but, BUT, I love to call "Java" "Javur"! It's great! It makes it sound like the world's greates hillbilly program language. "Fix me up some of that thar JAVUR and I'll build this chicken coop with XML." "I hooked up some server-side JAVUR to the still DATURBASE and I think it improved the flavor of the HyperWhiskey a mite."
I love Javur! No other programming languages, except I guess Modulur-2 or maybe Adur, have the same great -UR ending. So when I found out about JAVERTISING, I knew it was gonna be great. JAVER! Right there in the name. Even though it ended with gross "tising". But what can you do, right?
Actually, this Javertising site isn't all that bad. All I can tell is that they do weird client-side XML stuff, which, like, whatever. I don't know what the fuck that has to do with JAVERTISING, but nobody ever called me a Web entrepreneur, so maybe there's just an enzyme I'm missing that would make this all make sense.
Javertising!

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)