Build Date: Fri Oct 24 16:10:12 2025 UTC
Too bad they don't have an anti-psychosis keyboard. I figure, once my wrists start talking to me, it's time to retire.
-- Mr. Bad
Canadian Authorities Cracking Down on Fish Molestation
1999-05-21 16:42:55
Reacting swiftly to the current Canuck rage for torturing and humiliating river-dwelling fish, Canadian officials have charged an American TV fishing show host with what is believed to be the first ever case of "Fish Molestation" encountered on the North American continent.
Larry Dahlberg, host of ESPN's "The Hunt for Big Fish," was recently fly-fishing in British Columbia while being filmed by his television crew. An eagle-eyed Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans noticed Dahlberg playing a bit roughly with the Steelhead on the end of his line, and informed the startled TV host and his Canadian guide Pat Wilson that he was being charged with "unsportsmanlike conduct." More specifically, the Canadian official charged Dahlberg with violation of a British Columbian fishing code which states "No person shall molest or injure fish."
"What Larry was charged with, molesting a fish, is very subjective. Larry didn't do anything wrong!" Wilson told a reporter.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
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My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
