Build Date: Sat Jun 13 19:00:10 2026 UTC
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
-- H.L. Mencken
Canadian Prime Minister is a Fast Food Chain
2000-03-07 14:44:20
Okay, I'm lying. But George W. Bush did embarass himself by falling into the satire-trap of a Canadian satirist.
So Rick Mercer, this Canadian bad person, disguises himself as part of the good upstanding and honest American press, and asks George W. Bush how he feels about getting an endorsement from Jean Poutine, Canadian Prime Minister. Bush said he was all happy about it and looking forward to snorting cocaine with him and like plotting crazy Masonic world domination, but then the crowd goes silent as everyone realizes at once that the Canadian Prime Minister is actually named Jean Chretian or something, that Poutine is a fast food chain, and that nobody in Canada would endorse a Texan for anything.
Anyway, cool practical joke. And, best yet, now if George W. Bush (does like W. stand for Washington, like George Washington Carver? I'd like that) wins, he'll be all pressured into invading Canada, like in that Alan Alda movie.
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
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Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
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The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
