Build Date: Mon Sep 28 03:42:17 2026 UTC
Quit being so NANCY. Next you'll be drinking Amstel Light.
-- Ratsnatcher
Canadian Prime Minister is a Fast Food Chain
2000-03-07 14:44:20
Okay, I'm lying. But George W. Bush did embarass himself by falling into the satire-trap of a Canadian satirist.
So Rick Mercer, this Canadian bad person, disguises himself as part of the good upstanding and honest American press, and asks George W. Bush how he feels about getting an endorsement from Jean Poutine, Canadian Prime Minister. Bush said he was all happy about it and looking forward to snorting cocaine with him and like plotting crazy Masonic world domination, but then the crowd goes silent as everyone realizes at once that the Canadian Prime Minister is actually named Jean Chretian or something, that Poutine is a fast food chain, and that nobody in Canada would endorse a Texan for anything.
Anyway, cool practical joke. And, best yet, now if George W. Bush (does like W. stand for Washington, like George Washington Carver? I'd like that) wins, he'll be all pressured into invading Canada, like in that Alan Alda movie.

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