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Canadian Techs Watch Porn All Day
2000-02-03 21:28:14

Canadia Sucks
Innocence is for suckers.
-- Tina the Troubled Teenager


Ever wonder what it's like to work at a Canadian electronics company? Dominic Petruzzi spent eight weeks looking at internet pornography.

After 329 hours of porn, he got his job done. But it took alot of overtime. In one month, he claimed 120 hours. "E-porn was a full-time job" gloated a Canadian newspaper.

Eventually his brain-dead Canadian employer realized Petruzzi's job didn't even require net access, and fired his sorry ass. Then the stupid Canadian labor union filed an appeal on Petruzzi's behalf, arguing he should've been allowed to keep his job. They said he spent at most two hours of every day looking at pornography. He'd worked for an electronics company whose web site still boasts about their "6,800 highly skilled employees" -- and spells defense with a C.

This parable has many messages -- about defense contractors, about corporate bureaucracies, about labor unions, and about the human spirit. But let's cut Petruzzi some slack. His story is the haunting fable about one technology worker's search for salvation in a barren wasteland famous for its bad beer and unattractive hookers.

O, Canada, their home and native land...true pornographic love in all thy sons command.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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