Build Date: Fri Apr 19 15:20:05 2024 UTC
One man said it was getting towards the long days and the short nights now. T'other one said THIS warn't one of the short ones, he reckoned. And then they laughed, and he said it over again, and they laughed again...
-- Mark Twain
Canadians Are Still Real Dumb
2000-01-29 15:44:03
So, you should check out this little film, eh. It's all about the history of Canadia! It's only about 20 seconds long, eh, because Canadia has a dumb history!
It's really crazy! First off, this evil beaver head streaks across a Canadian forest. And then a redheaded girl with pigtails appears for no good reason. And then we see a moose, followed by a Mountie, and then the moose gives a BLOW JOB to the mountie! I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS! This is probably like a tourism department film or something. Then a polar bear appears and eats the viewer.
The reason I found this was I was searching for sites about Canadian Content laws so I could make fun of the Nucks. And I found this site, which is really for a multimedia company (the hoser equivalent of Purpledyne Multimedia, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Pigdog Worldwide, Inc.) whose stated intent is to produce CD-Roms with "Canadian content." Haw haw! No, really.
Their first release is "Anne of the Green Gables," which I didn't even KNOW was a Canadian story! I am an ignorant American, trampling people all over the world with my thuggish boots of cultural oppression!
Future releases may include "Henry, Le Petit Lumberjack," "The Bestest Hockey Game Ever," and "Wobble: the Little Nuck Train That Thought It Could, With Assistance from Her Majesty's Glorious Commonwealth."
I made all those up. But that FILM is totally REAL! It's sick! I can't believe Canadians are REAL sometimes!
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