Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     
 

Evil Canadia Poisons The World
2000-01-05 16:27:51


Canadia Sucks
 
God bless the drunks and the children, and the United States of America.
-- Mark Twain

 

Damn! I was all depressed and hungover after this Y2K thing happened. Life just seems not worth living when you have a chompanyah hangover and civilization is chugging right along as usual. Then I found out that evil Canadia is doing much EVIL in the world! Beaujolais! Canadia-bashing is my favorite sport! So I have something to live for!

The deal is like this: Canadia is like the Number One manufacturer or producer or whatever of the horrible chemmie known as ASBESTOS. Asbestos is, as we all know, really nasty and it gives you bad cancer and stuff. My grandfather used to work in an asbestos plant, and his hair turned GREEN. Really, no shit! Asbestos is bad, bad, bad dangerous evil shit.

Everybody wants to get rid of asbestos because it makes you real real sick. Even the Canadian Junta has declared that all its colonial government buildings and trading posts must be asbestos-free. They're spending kajillions of worthless Canadian pesos on the project. Even France, for example, BANNED asbestos use inside the borders of la Belle Pays in 1997, and a lot of other Euro-trash countries are following suit.

But GET THIS: the oppressive Canadian Junta is CHALLENGING the French asbestos ban in the secret Star Chambers of the well-known Bilderberger side project called the WTO. Why are the Canadians doing this? Because they HATE EVERYBODY. Well, also, because grouchy French Canadians in Quebec are mad that they're losing their poisonous toxic jobs in the asbestos mines, and the Junta is afraid of the plucky Quebecois, who have been known to commit atrocious acts of barbarism when they get hopped up on speed and split-pea soup.

So the Junta will cash in some Masonic New World Order chips with the WTO, and force all French people to eat ASBESTOS FLAKES for breakfast! And because of European unity then all the other Euro-states will have to wash their hair with asbestos shampoo and drive asbestos-upholstered BMWs, too! Damn! This is exactly why everyone HATES Canadia!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

quintuplet@pigdog.org


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