Build Date: Fri Feb 14 11:30:10 2025 UTC
Expensive tequila means you just pay more for your evil.
-- Johnnie Royale
Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
1999-09-28 03:26:48
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...
Pigdog exploded. See, we went to the evil Burning Man festival (for a whole week) last month, where we burned out our insides with playa dust and skut liquor. We built a deranged hillbilly shack, put on overalls, and ran around acting like big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbillies! But not just any hillbillies, SCIENTIST HILLBILLIES. See. Because that's what they have in the future. The future of America is hillbillies with SCIENCE.
We whipped up big batches of our special HyperWhiskey(tm) poison, and SmartChaw(tm) chewin' tobacco, and told people who walked by our shack to imbibe and chomp. And they did! And so did we!!
We do this every year for some reason, which neither I, nor anyone else, has successfully been able to explain. So I'm not going to even try.
The important thing to note, however, is that the hangover lasts a SOLID MONTH -- in which time, we cannot do any writing whatsoever. This has been the case in the past, and it is proving to be so this year as well.
HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! If you believe that I got me a mule to sell you on the bridge that is in Brooklyn for which the Eskimos with refrigerators have no name. Harr!!!
Why not look at this nice photo gallery (courtesy Wendolonia) of our trip to Burning Man this year?
Alright den.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)