Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:40:05 2024 UTC
I really should drink more, but I just don't have the energy...
-- Johnnie Royale
Do Your Part! Complain About Burning Man!
1999-08-05 19:47:01
So, if you're a Burner and you got a complaint, it's your DUTY to let the people at the Burning Man Project KNOW about it!
I recently had this great revelation about Burning Man. It's a little known fact that the 5th thing on the list of What Burners Like (after Fire, Sex, Booze, and Drugs) is Complaining about Burning Man. I engage in this practice quite often, myself.
[LET ME QUICKLY ADD that there are few things in life that I love more than Burning Man. It is a great, great thing, and like I pointed out before, I'm really looking forward to this year's Burning Man 99 and many, many Burning Mans to come. So, don't get all mad that I'm a big Burning Man hater or something.]
So I was crabbing about some of the new rules for this year to one of my friends who works for the Project, and she gave me a REAL GOOD IDEA. She said, "If there is so much discontent, why aren't people contacting us? All they have to do is send email, pick up the phone, write us letters, it's not hard."
Well, DUH! You could have knocked me over with a HAMMER. Of course! If you've got PROBLEMS with the PROJECT, send a LETTER to the PROJECT. Dahoy! That makes perfect sense!
I mean, that's the only way that congressmen, TV networks and newspaper editors know what people like and dislike: letters from us, just regular people. That's how they know how to make decisions and stuff. So that's the idea! SEND LETTERS!
I mean, everybody I've talked to has at least some beef with Burning Man. Like these:
There's lots more, obviously. Like I said, everybody's got a beef.
Of course, nothing here is worth not going to Burning Man for. Hell, BURNING MAN IS GREAT!
The thing is, if we don't TELL the Burning Man Organization, then they'll never KNOW that these are problems. At the very least, they need to have that data in order to make good decisions in the future. So what I'm saying is: if you've got a beef, SEND IN YOUR COMPLAINTS! They DON'T already know! Seriously! It's the ONLY WAY to make Burning Man better.
Here's some contact info I've got. If you know of better contact info, let me know. The only mail address I can find is the ticket sales address:
Burning Man
P.O. Box 420572
San Francisco, CA 94142-0572
The telephone number is:
415.TO.FLAME
The email address for complaints is:
Complaints: complaints@burningman.com
Send some complaints NOW, while you're thinking about it! Let the folks know what ticks you off! They need our input and our help. So, do it!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)