Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:10:04 2024 UTC
Thirty-fifth Street. Home Sweet Home. Mosquito population...zero.
-- Doctor Murdock
It's BURNING TIME Again
1999-08-03 11:11:03
Gar! It seems like it was just yesterday that SMRL was throwing a Giant Head of Spock into the fiery inferno that is the Burning Man. And now it's time for the whole shit shebang to happen again. But this time, EVEN CRAZIER!
August is the time of year when people crank their Burning Man efforts into HIGH GEAR. It's DEAD WEEK for Burning Man. It's CRAZY. Take, for example, Spock Mountain Research Labs: we're practicing our hog calls, desert-training the robot dogs, and brewing up VATS and VATS of hyperwhiskey for all our friends on the Playa! Not to mention the work that goes into disassembling our sekrit mountain labs to take to Black Rock City for a week. Jesus, that's HARD. But Beaujolais!
If you don't know what Burning Man is, well, HELL BOY, you're really lame and I can't really help you out on that point. Maybe you should check out our world-famous 1997 Burning Man coverage. Or you could look at this here Burning Man official page or even that crazy Saran Warp lady's ideas for this year's BURN.
Except for OUR coverage, though, you're gonna have a bit of trouble coming up with good writing about Burning Man on the Web. In general, the coverage falls into three categories:
- Stupid CNN shallow soft pieces, where the camera crew gets a shot of the Man, a couple of pictures of ladies in body paint, they write out "technopagan" on their notes a couple of times, and then skeedaddles for the safety and AC of the blackjack table in Reno.
- Pages and pages of burbling dimestore philosophy about what Burning Man is All About from first-year attendees who wouldn't know what Burning Man was All About if it humped them on the leg. Blech.
- Corpo dreck from the Burning Man LLC itself.
[One thing that always bugs me is that people always talk about how much great stuff there is to SEE. This is patently untrue. Looked at from a purely entertainment level, Burning Man is really kinda lame. Sure, a 30-foot gold-lame tower with lasers and burning naked ladies is kinda cool to see. But a broken-in-half dusty tower lying on the ground with a lot of smelly naked ladies picking their nose and trying to keep it from blowing away is NOT. There's a good reason BM has a "No Spectators" rule -- being a spectator is boring. Seriously! Your better entertainment value is the floor show at Circus Circus.]
[Lemme tell you, that first year at Burning Man we did was the SUCK -- mostly because we just walked around seeing other people's stuff instead of doing our own. Yeah, it's fun the first time in some ways, but our more recent trip, in our persona of Spock Mountain Research Labs, was much, much, much, a thousand times much better.]
[Although it was a fuckload of work, too. Sometimes I wish I'd just painted my ass green and put a feather up my nose, because that's way easier than building a cyberbilly science lab in the middle of the fucking Black Rock Desert. Jesus.]
[More on that later.]
Anyways, there are some exceptional pieces out there, of course. Joab Jackson's great piece on Burning Man is fabuloso cool. But this is one of our "link" articles, here, and the link that I'm referring to in this article is REAL REAL good, at the end of this thing where it says "Check it out yerself." Do that! Check it out, because it's real good. Participant point of view, good writing, low on burbleage. I liked it, go crazy.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
