Build Date: Tue Aug 18 17:00:11 2026 UTC
The only way to settle this is with a bear-fight cage match.
-- Donkey Hotey
My First Prostitute
1999-09-21 13:06:31
I can't even decide where to start there are so many bad things going on with this article... it's a first person story of one wussy vice cops first time entrapping big bad mean prostitutes. Woe is he...
First of all the ol' ball 'n chain is nagging him at home about all the "various acts of perversion that took place in luxury hotel suites filled with naked, nubile girls" (how does she know?). He brushes her aside with a pack of lies about how he's just busting under-age drinkers and little stuff like that.
Secondly the vice squad sends him to a dirty smelly hotel where he must talk to a "shriveled man in a stained shirt." Apparently he has no actual assignment except to bust somebody for something cause he heads to try and find some illegal gambling at the local taverns. Failing that he asked the bell boy to get him a prostitue... why doesn't the guy just hang a big sign around his neck that says "Please approach me with offers of illegal activities."
Finally he finds himself a 20 dollar hoe, who he describes as "a woman in her mid-40s with a figure showing a lifetime of many second helpings." Great, a fat $20 hoe.
Luckily the whole thing has a funny little ending as everyone goes home with a tummy full of warm fuzzys for a good job done. Except, of course, for the old fat hoe who probably spends the next week or so in a dank cell, has her children taken away and five of her ribs broken by her pimp when she gets out casue she doesn't have his $18 buck share of her trick. But, other than that, I mean, it's a real cute story...
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
