Build Date: Tue Aug 18 17:00:11 2026 UTC
put down the patchouli
-- Donkey Hotey
13-year-old Swindles New York!
1999-06-29 17:15:37
HA ha! This crazy Honduran boy had everybody thinking his life was SOOOO REALLY HORRIBLE! When, in fact, it was only just kinda really horrible, now everybody wants him to give back his rollerblades and ice cream. Gee Wiz, those crazy third-world kids! What'll they think of next?
So, here's the scoop: 13-year-old Honduran boy shows up in a Miami dinner claiming to have walked and hitchhiked all the way from Honduras to find his long lost father in New York. Supposedly his whole family was wiped out in Hurricane Mitch and his father is his only hope! This nice folks at the dinner all chip in 109 bucks to buythe kid a bus ticket and off he goes to the big apple, where he becomes an overnight celebrity. He gets his photo taken with important people, he's in all the newspapers, he gets new clothes, rollerblades, and free food from cops, taxi drivers, and politicians. BUT IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT LIE!
Now everyone's feeling all hurt and used and stuff because, while they thought he was worthy of their love, attention, and gifts becuase of the HORRIBLE HARDSHIPS he had survived. It turns out ALL he's had to REALLY deal with is his father dying from AIDS, being shipped back and forth between realtives in Honduras and various parts of Florida (the article sorta mentions that his mother lives in the industrial town of Choloma, but has had nothing to do with raising "the boy," so you see, he's not really an orphan), and the fact that his grandmother plans to send him to reform school as soon as she gets him back. Oh, and the part of Honduras he lived in "was not seriously affected by the hurricane, which devastated much of the country." -- so you see, this boy is just a BAD SEED who tried to abuse the KINDNESS of strangers. POOR, POOR Mayor Rudolph Giuliani!! While he ever learn to TRUST a CHILD AGAIN?!
Oh, and the stuck the kid in some foster home until this all gets sorted out...in case you cared, at all, which you shouldn't cause they're all lying and just trying to get you to buy them food and stuff...
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