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-- H. R. Pufenstuf

Rock For Life

by The Compulsive Splicer

1999-03-22 16:35:00

There are some bad people out there, and I don't mean bad in a good way, who think their band will sell more records if it's featured on a web page with a picture of a fetus jamming on guitar.

In addition to their insightful political invectives (President Clinton: Do not mock God) -- well, wait a minute. Fuck correct grammar and forget that half-finished thought. _Do not mock God_? What's that about? Is that good advice for a leader of a nation? I mean, sure, it's probably not a great idea to taunt a being of vast power, but what the hell is that supposed to mean? That goes under "sage advice," along with "Don't tug on Superman's cape." I'll remember that for future reference. I'm sure it'll come in handy some day.

Okay, Okay, I'll get on with it.

This site invites you to boycott all pro-choice rock and rollers out there. As if I knew who any were. But even if I did, and even if I cared to support their cause, I'm sure I'd be turned away by the background image on this hideously designed Web site. It might be funny as a parody, but as a site trying to promote fetus-worship it just seems distasteful.

This site also features a list of pro-life and pro-choice (they call it pro-abortion like all the other rabid bastards that think that terminating a pregnancy is bad but that somehow killing grown-up people is OK) bands, so we can make informed listening choices. The list of pro-life bands is much longer than the list of pro-choice bands, but on closer inspection nine out of ten of the pro-choice bands are recognizable names, whereas out of 170 pro-life rock bands listed, I've only heard of three (MC Hammer, The Cranberries, and a name I didn't recognize, but who was formerly a member of 2 Live Crew--talk about a total "John Stamos' Brother" deal...) and there were multiple duplicates to pad the list.


Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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