I Use A Word That Don't Mean Nothing, Like "Loopid"
2000-03-31 15:44:29

Bad People
Both porn and Mars seems to get you guys all hot and bothered.
-- Johnnie Royale


Hey hey hey! It's almost April 1, which means only one thing in this big crazy town: The Saint Stupid's Parade! Beaujolais for crazy stupid people!

Here's the dealy-do: there's this big crazy pseudo-church in San Francisco called "The First Church of the Last Laugh," run by this total WACKBALL called "Bishop Joey" (get it?). They don't do much of anything during most of the year, but on April First they have a gigantic spontaneous parade of FREAKS and WEIRDOS walking through the streets of San Francisco and acting like complete DORKS.

The Saint Stupid's Day Parade (as it's called) has been going on for some small integral number of years. The whole thing is a celebration of HUMAN STUPIDITY in all its multifarious and ingenious forms. Not just FUN and GOOFY stupidity, because there's plenty of that, but also VENAL and EVIL stupidity, BLOCKISH and DULL stupidity, VAPID and CLANDESTINE stupidity, etc. etc.

So anyways there's this giganto-parade of human stupidity, with loud and boorish actions as well as music and nudity and freakishness. You have to realize that the FCLL is mostly made up of the kind of people who are attracted to joke religions in the first place. I mean, these folks are complete QUEERBALLS the other 364.251 days of the year, so you can imagine what they look like when they actually try to give it a go and look EXTRA-FREAKY for this one special holiday.

I highly recommend that if you're in God's Favorite City on Saturday 4/1, you go to the Big Pointy Building and celebrate your own and everyone else's totally wigged out insane shithouse-crazy life. According to the FCLL, you're a part of the Human Parade of Stupidity whether you attend or not, whether you walk down the street or stand on the sidewalk gawking. So if you're going to be stupid, why not do it the fun way? Go put on your FREAK FLAG clothes, stick a couple of chopsticks in your ears, paint a big PANDA BEAR on your beer belly and tromp down the avenue with the rest of the dipsticks. Beaujolais for the Stupid Parade!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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