"Grizzly Man" Delivers the Laughs
2006-03-01 23:43:49
Timothy Treadwell lived among grizzly bears for 13 summers, talked to them, even pet them on their noses. What kind of man would do such a thing? A raving lunatic, as it turns out.
Timothy Treadwell was a lunatic. He was a damaged, drunken nutjob who went to Alaska, saw grizzly bears, and decided he wanted to live with them. So he did. For 13 summers, he lived among these massive, deadly beasts, and provoked them daily until one of them finally ate him and a companion. For five of those summers he had a video camera, and I cannot adequately express my gratitude and delight that Treadwell had that camera, and that the tapes fell into the hands of demented Kraut Werner Herzog.
There is nothing here resembling a nature documentary. Treadwell uses his camera as a confessional booth, a diary, a bullhorn, and a platform for self-aggrandizement, but there isn't enough truth or cohesion to consider the tapes a biography either.
Treadwell exhibits some pretty strange behavior. He calls out to the bears "I love you", as if he were apologizing to a jilted lover. He seems to expect them to understand, and it seems as if he is waiting eagerly for the moment when they begin speaking to him. When he comes across the remains of a large female bear's excrement, he exclaims in a high-pitched voice "This came out of her butt!" and then, yes, he reaches down and picks up a hunk of the bear poop. While filming himself with his other hand. You can't tell me that's not fucking hilarious.
Timothy Treadwell isn't the only crazy person in this movie, either. Herzog interviews perhaps a dozen people from Treadwell's life, and each one is completely bonkers. The insanity peaks with the coroner who handled the mangled bodies, who is mad as a March hare. His eyes bug out and his arms flail as he describes the pair's last moments, which he reconstructs from a convenient audio recording of the mauling which is too gruesome to replay for the audience. Even the filmmaker bares his insanity for the record. In a particularly creepy scene, Herzog insists on listening to the recording through headphones, while filming himself from behind. He narrates the film with an eerie love of death.
This movie is a winner. Go see this movie. "Grizzly Man" is funny in a dark, teutonic way, but it's pure comic gold.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)