Build Date: Mon Jun 17 11:20:08 2024 UTC

I am not Spock.
-- Leonard Nimoy

Bull is my co-pilot

by Baron Earl

2023-09-03 00:07:39

If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go.

Based on the position of the Howdy Doody's penis, all bull urine appears to be directed into the vehicle itself.

The duo came to the attention of the Norfolk Police when a call came in around 10 a.m. Wednesday about a car driving into town that had a "cow" in it. Police Captain Chad Reiman said "They thought that it was going to be a calf, something small or something that would actually fit inside the vehicle."

Howdy Doody does not fit inside the vehicle. Weighing an estimated 1600 pounds, the top half of Doody rides above and outside the vehicle.

According to Lee's neighbor Charles LaRue, "Lee and that bull have been friends for years. He [Lee Meyers] is in the Neligh parade every year with him [Howdy Doody] riding shotgun, and Howdy is a very well-behaved bull."

Mr. Meyers has carefully removed the "PO" from each instance of "POLICE" printed on his decommissioned police cruiser. It is unclear if the remaining warning of "LICE" refers to an infestation of Howdy Doody, the vehicle's interior, or Mr. Meyers himself.

Although there were some citable issues identified by the officers performing the traffic stop, the officers chose to issue a warning and told Mr. Meyers to get out of town, and take Howdy Doody with him.

Meyer and Howdy Doody drove out of Norfolk and made their way back home to Neligh. No one was hurt.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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