Build Date: Tue Feb 11 22:30:16 2025 UTC
Pigdog Journal: The Weapons Grade Handbook for Bad People of the Future
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Bull is my co-pilot
2023-09-03 00:07:39
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go.
Based on the position of the Howdy Doody's penis, all bull urine appears to be directed into the vehicle itself.
The duo came to the attention of the Norfolk Police when a call came in around 10 a.m. Wednesday about a car driving into town that had a "cow" in it. Police Captain Chad Reiman said "They thought that it was going to be a calf, something small or something that would actually fit inside the vehicle."
Howdy Doody does not fit inside the vehicle. Weighing an estimated 1600 pounds, the top half of Doody rides above and outside the vehicle.
According to Lee's neighbor Charles LaRue, "Lee and that bull have been friends for years. He [Lee Meyers] is in the Neligh parade every year with him [Howdy Doody] riding shotgun, and Howdy is a very well-behaved bull."
Mr. Meyers has carefully removed the "PO" from each instance of "POLICE" printed on his decommissioned police cruiser. It is unclear if the remaining warning of "LICE" refers to an infestation of Howdy Doody, the vehicle's interior, or Mr. Meyers himself.
Although there were some citable issues identified by the officers performing the traffic stop, the officers chose to issue a warning and told Mr. Meyers to get out of town, and take Howdy Doody with him.
Meyer and Howdy Doody drove out of Norfolk and made their way back home to Neligh. No one was hurt.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)