I want to kill bugs, sir!

     
 

Pavement Soaked in Blood After Vicious Squirrel Attack
2002-11-12 19:39:15


Animal Rampage
 
I know what a cat thinks. A cat thinks, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Shut up and open that can of food." And, "Everything is mine."
-- Miss Conduct

 

In yet another squirrel attack, a small girl in England was brutally assaulted by a gray squirrel. The squirrel sank its fangs into the girl's forehead, blood sprayed from the wound, the girl spun round and round, but the squirrel would not release its death grip. Finally the girl's mother wrestled her to the ground and forced the squirrel to withdraw.

Several residents in the small town of Cheshire had been the victims of unprovoked squirrel attacks in recent weeks. People stopped going out at night. Restaurants and bars remained empty. Streets were silent except for the faint "t-t-t-t" sound of the squirrels planning their next attack.

One brave man was not going to take this any more. The girl's grandfather, Geoff Horth, took matters into his own hands and shot a squirrel dead with a high-powered assault weapon known locally as an "air rifle".

Whether this act of vigilante justice will end this matter remains unknown, because one gray squirrel looks pretty much like another. Only time will tell, but for now, the body count has stopped rising.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

yaddayadda@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Solex vs. the Pigdog
by The Compulsive Splicer

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
by El Destino

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

GNUisance
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

03-06

Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson

02-15

Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE

01-17

Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders

01-11

Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot

01-11

Baron Earl

Rep. Steve King wonders how the phrase "white supremacist" became "offensive"

09-29

El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

More Quickies...