In a daring kamikaze attack on a senior citizen's center, a squirrel blew up a power transformer and an electrical panel by throwing himself into the transformer's wiring, causing mass panic and forcing an emergency evacuation of the center.
10 fire engine companies and 40 L.A. County firefighters responded to the attack, helping the addled seniors escape the smoke-filled building.
In an amazing stroke of luck, no one was injured in the attack -- everyone managed to slowly, carefully and cautiously escape from the building. Staff at the center estimate that it will take several weeks to get the smell of burned squirrel out of the building. Unfortunately, the "old people smell" will remain.
A possible link to Al Qaeda has not yet been found, but rest assured, one will be.