Build Date: Thu Jan 8 17:20:10 2026 UTC
Disneyland is like an airport: a fascist subdomain of the general ecosphere.
-- Mr. Bad
Boscoe the Turtle Has Cashed His Check
2002-04-25 21:55:12
I found this on the ground the other day as I was walking to the laundromat. I think these are instructions on how to poison turtles! What kind of world do we live in?
Boscoe
2 cups a day -- Twice Give him 1 pink pill w/food
Turtles Please feed sometime on Friday. The food is on top of the tank.
Plenty of small pellets & 10-12 large stinky pellets
We'll be back about 7 PM on Saturday...
So, you be the judge. Sure, there are the obvious dead giveaways... give them the stinky pellets, and bizarre references to mysterious "pink pills"... but maybe this is all innocent stuff. Maybe a family of macabre turtle killers doesn't live nearby...in Oakland... where Boscoe waits happily for a weird pink pill that makes him very, very sleepy.
Yeah, I could just be imagining all this stuff. Yeah, that's it. There's no anti-turtle conspiracy here, no, none at all. Move along, nothing to see....
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
