Build Date: Fri Nov 28 07:20:10 2025 UTC
To me, Pigdog is all about Universal Love, and how it frequently requires semiautomatic weapons and very, very large guard dogs.
-- Jeff Gerstmann
Enraged Bull Leaves Wake of Destruction in Helpless Spokane!!!
2000-05-01 15:49:22
Spokane, WA has been the latest victim of an ANIMAL RAMPAGE in North America. A maddened 2,000-lb. bull, driven insane by the torture and taunts of a rodeo crowd, threw its rider, broke out of the ring and ran wild in the streets of Spokane!
The frenzied animal charged through the streets of this tiny town, easily out-weighing all the police cars on Spokane's puny force. Despite SHOTGUN BLASTS from Spokane's finest, it continued running, crunching a compact car like a Mountain Dew can in the process!
Amazingly, this out-of-control behemoth managed to escape into the woods! It made a break for it, and then got out to freedom! As of this writing, the huge rhinoceros-like creature is still at large, knocking over might redwoods and gigantic boulders in its total furor of destruction.
Police have asked Spokane residents to keep an eye out for the bull. The bull is 6'-4" tall, about 8-1/2' long, brick red with matted sweaty fur, razor-sharp hooves, and telltale buckshot scars on its monumental ass. It will be readily recognizable as a gigantic, hairy bovine creature snorting huge gusts of steam out of its bloodied snout like a demon from Hell's worst nightmare as it crushes automobiles, backhoes, small homes, freeway overpasses, and anything else that stands in its way.
If you DO encounter the bull, DO NOT try to confront it! Instead, play music of unearthly beauty on your violin that will soothe and charm the savage beast. When it is overcome with aesthetic emotions and subdued, hit it on the head with a shovel.
This is one really angry bull, folks. We haven't had any Animal Rampage stories on PDJ for a while -- I think the good economy has kept most of them employed and relatively happy -- but this MAY be a sign of new rampages to come. Who knows what kind of gentle monsters will be driven OVER THE EDGE in the next few days -- especially having heard of this bull's successful bid for freedom?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
