Build Date: Thu Feb 26 07:10:08 2026 UTC
I sense an excellent opportunity to get senselessly drunk.
-- Head-freezin' Gene
Enraged Bull Leaves Wake of Destruction in Helpless Spokane!!!
2000-05-01 15:49:22
Spokane, WA has been the latest victim of an ANIMAL RAMPAGE in North America. A maddened 2,000-lb. bull, driven insane by the torture and taunts of a rodeo crowd, threw its rider, broke out of the ring and ran wild in the streets of Spokane!
The frenzied animal charged through the streets of this tiny town, easily out-weighing all the police cars on Spokane's puny force. Despite SHOTGUN BLASTS from Spokane's finest, it continued running, crunching a compact car like a Mountain Dew can in the process!
Amazingly, this out-of-control behemoth managed to escape into the woods! It made a break for it, and then got out to freedom! As of this writing, the huge rhinoceros-like creature is still at large, knocking over might redwoods and gigantic boulders in its total furor of destruction.
Police have asked Spokane residents to keep an eye out for the bull. The bull is 6'-4" tall, about 8-1/2' long, brick red with matted sweaty fur, razor-sharp hooves, and telltale buckshot scars on its monumental ass. It will be readily recognizable as a gigantic, hairy bovine creature snorting huge gusts of steam out of its bloodied snout like a demon from Hell's worst nightmare as it crushes automobiles, backhoes, small homes, freeway overpasses, and anything else that stands in its way.
If you DO encounter the bull, DO NOT try to confront it! Instead, play music of unearthly beauty on your violin that will soothe and charm the savage beast. When it is overcome with aesthetic emotions and subdued, hit it on the head with a shovel.
This is one really angry bull, folks. We haven't had any Animal Rampage stories on PDJ for a while -- I think the good economy has kept most of them employed and relatively happy -- but this MAY be a sign of new rampages to come. Who knows what kind of gentle monsters will be driven OVER THE EDGE in the next few days -- especially having heard of this bull's successful bid for freedom?
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
