Build Date: Fri Apr 10 11:30:07 2026 UTC

You can begin with good smart people and an unbound optimism and in no time at all, everything can disintegrate. Threats and blows can fly; men once tame and meek can bloody the faces of friend and stranger. It's pretty fucking cool.
-- Mr. Bad

Alien Baby Rushed to Hospital!

by Negative Nancy

1999-11-05 11:07:02

OK, so no one really thought it was an Alien, they actually thought it was a human foetus. But it was actually an Alien! OK, it was actually a plastic alien toy. But it was really gross!! No one can say it wasn't really gross! It was slimy and metallic and had big ears, it's also expected to be one of this Xmass's biggest hits! And have I mentioned the British are really weird?

OK, I should probably take a moment to explain that I already wrote this article yesterday, and it was beautiful and melodious and used a short, concise sentence structure. But that version was lost in a rip in the space/time continuum so you'll just gots t' deal with this one. So here are the basic points I made in that first article:

  • Janitor find little slimy thing, thinks it's a human foetus.
  • Police close train station as possible crime scene an rush little slimy thing to hospital for autopsy.
  • Doctors realize it's a plastic alien toy.
  • Toy is very popular in England.
  • British drink to much on their lunch breaks
  • British kids are real gross for wanting little slimy things for Xmass.

the end.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vagrant@pigdog.org

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