Build Date: Sun Feb 8 10:10:09 2026 UTC
He had a very sort of, a strangely very attractive sort of pungent sort of gamey, sort of a venison or a lamb sausage... and a little bit of rosemary with a touch of ranch dressing.
-- James Spader, discussing the aroma of William Shatner
Sugar Aliens On The Run!!!
1999-06-05 13:05:31
As all you E.T. hunters know by now, Seti@home has just started sending chunks of radio telescope space data out to home computers to scan for messages.
A few Skeptical Sams (some even in the deepest ranks of Pigdog) think that the chance of any cosmic creature sending us a signal in the narrow band of frequencies that SETI is listening to are SO bad that it's not even worth bothering. Others, however, disagree. They prefer to see the pie tin as half full, rather than half empty.
Sure, the chances of finding alien life are slim, but if we *do* make contact with an alien civilization then, you know what? We'll have access to some **unbelievable** pie recipes!! I mean those aliens, being of superior intellect n' all, must have some outrageous space-age desserts. Man, I bet they're shoving some *killer* pecan pie down their food tubes (or whatever it is they use to eat with) right now!
Their pastry science is quantum years beyond that of our mere earthling efforts! They have flavors our tastebuds can?t even register! They may even have anti-matter sprinkles! Think about it. Our own primitive confectioneries must pale pathetically compared to their intergalactic slices.
Of course, actual evidence of such cosmic vittles has been limited to merely after-dinner speculation- until now!!! We have just received a shocking news report, from the respected UFO magazine Fate, that aliens have been filching the supplies at one of the LARGEST sugar refineries in the world! This can only mean one thing: them ay-leens are fixin' to bake themselves some serious pie! Wee-HAW!
El Destino contributed to this report.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
